Thursday, August 23, 2012

One day at a time

I really love fall. There's so much to enjoy, after all. Cool, crisp weather, beautiful fall leaves, football season, the beginning of a new school year (I still love it, even though it won't affect us for another 5 years) and the first cozy days leading up to the holidays. Normally, by this time in August, I'm counting down the days until September, savoring every foggy morning in hopes that the clouds will surprise us and hang around all day. I anticipate summer joyfully each year, probably because it takes so long to show up, but by this time, I'm ready for fall.

But this year is different. I really want the summer to last. I want to treasure every day I get to spend with my little girls, every moment that they are so small and precious and cuddly. And September is speeding towards me like a runaway train. This is significant because my maternity leave ends on September 11th. I know I can embrace my new role as part-time working mom, part-time stay-at-home mom. I've done the math, and there are 168 hours in a week. If I spend 20-25 of them working, I'm still spending the vast majority of my time being Emily and Erin's mom. I know that working will add variety to my life, spending time with Grandma and Daddy will add variety to their life, and the small amount of separation will make the time we do have together all the more special. I enjoy my job and like my co-workers, and it will be fun to be back at work.

Most of all, I'm sure my feelings of trepidation and anxiety about returning to the working world are normal. After all, between medical leave and bed rest before the girls were born and my maternity leave this summer, I've been gone nearly 5 months. I think it'd be strange not to be nervous, even if I wasn't leaving my babies. Worrying about what will happen and how everything will work isn't going to make any difference - all of this is in God's hands, as it always has been and always will be. All I need to do is savor every moment, every cuddle, every second of a little face staring up at me, thank God for all He has blessed our little family with, and know I am doing the best I can.

I know I'm not the only blogging mama who works away from home. How do you do it? Any advice? What to do, what not to do?

1 comment:

  1. I don't do it anymore, but I did for awhile. I worked part-time when Catherine was 3-12 months. Then I became a full fledged stay at home mom.

    I was surprised how quickly I got back into the swing of things at work--I was gone for 16 weeks, but barely anything changed while I was gone. Although, it was a little awkward borrowing the IT guy's office to pump in--it was one of the only closed offices without windows...

    I did change, though. I missed my little girl quite a bit and did struggle with the decision; however, we financially needed me to work for those months. It was comforting to know that it was in Catherine's best interest.

    It was a really struggle for our little family particularly because we do not live near any relatives and didn't really have anyone that could help out with the babysitting. (And couldn't afford a place that we'd be comfortable with!) At the time my husband was finishing up grad classes, so his schedule was strange. One of us was always home with the baby.

    Eventually, we felt secure in our finances and when my boss asked me to come back full time I was pretty comfortable in the decision to quit.

    Listen to God, He knows what will work best for your little family. I think that women can be wonderful mothers and work outside the home--they are not mutually exclusive. It will take a little more effort from you, but you already know that!

    Good luck!