Twin Tip Tuesday: Taking Your Twin Babies Shopping

Since finding out we were going to be blessed with twins, I've done a lot of reading. I found books about twin pregnancy, surviving the first few weeks and months with twins, and even sleep training for twins. What I didn't find much of was how to perform day-to day tasks with twins: going grocery shopping, starting solid foods, playing on the floor, tummy time. While I'm by no means an experienced twin mommy, I thought I would share some of what's worked for us in the past months! Look for these posts on Tuesdays - some upcoming topics will include dressing your twins, holiday celebrations with your twins, taking walks with your twins, and bathtime with your twins.

Shopping trips with your twins

Taking a baby to any type of store presents a logistical challenge. Will they ride in their car seat, or in a carrier? Is it better to take them while they're napping or wait until they're awake? What will your course of action be if they get fussy? Taking two babies can triple the challenges, because most shopping carts aren't nearly big enough to fit two infant carriers and still leave room for anything else. You also have to consider two different babies, with their own personalities and temperaments - and appetites! Here's what's worked for us:
1. Make a plan. A list is great, although I don't always have one. Sometimes you have to just seize your opportunity - happy babies, a break in the rain, you get the idea! Even if you don't have a list, make sure you have a plan. Having an idea of where you'll park, where you can find a cart, and how you'll carry your babies will greatly simplify your trip. If you can at least jot down the essential items you need to purchase, you'll be more likely to get out of the store with those - no coming home with three bags of groceries and no milk or wipes. I suggest parking near the carts, to make loading and unloading easier. To carry both girls, since they still don't sit up well, I use our Ergo carrier and one of their carseats in the cart (see below for details). I avoid going to stores that don't offer carts big enough for this setup - or that don't offer carts at all!

2. Be flexible. While this seems to contradict #1, you have to embrace both if you're going to get out of the house often with your baby twins. Have a plan for what you want to accomplish, but be willing to pack it up and leave when your kiddos have had enough. I like to have a regrouping routine that can get us back on track without having to go all the way home - I bring one of our Boppy pillows and a well-stocked diaper bag so we can recharge in between stores. I also bring water and snacks for myself, and treat myself to a coffee at the beginning of errands.

3. Multitask. As a twin mommy, this is an essential survival skill, and it can mean different things at different times. As I mentioned above, most shopping carts don't allow for two infant carriers and still leave room for anything else. When you're taking your twins shopping, take their personalities into account when you decide where they'll ride. For example, one of my girls, Erin, loves to be snuggled, so I carry her in the Ergo, where she often takes a nap. Emily likes to watch people and see my face, so I let her ride in the infant seat, sitting up on the top of the cart. She sometimes will fall asleep in the car on the way to the store, and often naps after riding on the cart for a little while. Being able to simultaneously snuggle and make faces to entertain both girls is a lifesaver, let me tell you! Don't forget why you're there, either - it's easy to get caught up in entertaining your babies and forget to fill your cart. I've done this more than once with less than fantastic results. Think double meltdown at the checkout. If you're not sure how long to allow in the store, try taking your babies on a walk and see how long they last. That will give you an idea of how much time you have.

4. Be ready for attention. People will approach you and want to see your twins, coo over them, and ask you questions. I really don't mind the attention - Emily and Erin seem to love it, and they pretty much always smile. I try to answer people's questions as honestly as I can, and I am always polite and cheerful. I want my girls to know I'm proud of them! If you are not comfortable with the attention, work with your comfort level. Smile, nod, thank them, and keep moving. I find that people often offer me help - bagging groceries, lifting something into the cart, or even adjusting the baby carrier! One polite gentleman even waited for me while I unloaded the girls from the cart and happily took the cart back for me. Again, work with your comfort level, but I try to accept help wherever possible. It always feels as though God sends it when I need it most!

5. Talk to your babies. Both of my girls like interacting, so I talk to them like they understand what's going on. I ask them what we should get and tell them why we need certain foods to be healthy. I sometimes get looks like I'm crazy, but most people don't really seem fazed. I've read that this helps their language development as well, so maybe they understand more than we think!

6. Use distraction. If all else fails and it's clear your kiddos just want to be somewhere else, switch it up. I trade toys back and forth, point out interesting things, talk in an excited voice, make silly faces. I use this tactic as I hastily wrap up my shopping and unload my cart at the checkout. Changes in motion can also help here, since some babies particularly enjoy being pushed in the cart or jiggled in a carrier. I've gotten so used to this that I actually have trouble standing still now! I find myself swaying slightly every time I try.

7. Remember you're learning - and they are too. Don't get too frustrated if your first outing is short and cranky. When you look back on it, you'll undoubtably have learned something for next time. Shopping might take a little longer when your twins join you at the store, but you're letting them learn about the world around them, and teaching them about how they can interact with that world. So take a deep breath and enjoy!

Do you take your kiddos shopping, twins or otherwise? What are your favorite stores for shopping with little ones? 

7 Months: Creating a routine for our twin girls

Emily and Erin will be 7 months on Saturday, and I think I'm finally ready for a routine. Yep, you read that right - we've never really operated on a schedule around here. I've tried a few times, but always given up after a couple of days. Part of that is due to our work schedules (ironically enough - things would probably be easier if we DID have a routine) but partly it's because when meeting the needs of two tiny people, it can be hard to pin something down that works for everyone involved for more than a week at a time.

I've noticed over the past few weeks that both girls seem to be much more interested in stopping their play to have a bottle than in stopping to nurse. I still nurse them fairly frequently, 5-6 times a day, but they usually have 3-4 bottles (of varying sizes) a day in addition to nursing. They are both able to hold their own bottles now, so this actually makes things much easier for all of us - they can eat at the same time! Nursing tends to make them sleepy and cozy, so I try to coordinate their nursing sessions with nap time, bed time, and any nighttime wakeups. Don't worry, they know how to fall asleep without nursing, but it's nice to have that comfort measure at 12:30 am - or 3 am - or 4 am - or anytime before 6:30! 

Now that I have an idea of how often they like to eat and how often they like to nap (and that list fits in one column) I'm going to start mapping out a schedule. I'm not sure if this is more of a routine than a schedule, because things don't always have to happen at the same time for our days to work smoothly, but times help me keep things straight. So here's what we'll be trying this week:

6:30 - Wake up. Change diapers, nurse, snuggle with Mommy.

7:00 - Play on mat while Mommy has a cup of coffee. 

7:15 -  Mommy showers and gets dressed

7:30 - Daddy starts work, babies get dressed.

7:45 - Play time. More coffee and breakfast for Mommy.

9:00 - Nurse, 2-4 oz bottle for both.

9:30 - Nap. Mommy catches up on housework, blogging, or gets ready for work (Thurs-Fri)
10:30-11:30 - Wake up. Change diapers. 2-4 oz bottle (depending on length of nap). Errands, outing, or appointments as needed.
1:00 - 1 oz of "solid food" in baby self-feeder. Nurse.
1:30 - Play. Lunch for Mommy.
2:30 - Nurse, 2-4 oz bottle for both.
3:00 - Nap.
4:30 - Daddy finishes work. Wake up, change diapers, 4-6 oz bottle for both. Family walk or playtime depending on weather.
5:00 - Mommy fixes dinner. Babies play with Daddy. Change diapers just before dinner (5:50)
6:00-6:15 - Dinnertime. 1 oz of "solid food" in baby self-feeder.
6:30 - Playtime while Daddy loads dishwasher.
7:00 - Bathtime. Turn on space heater in babies' bedroom.
7:30 - Nurse, offer bottle.
8:00 - Bedtime.
10:30 - Bedtime for Mommy. Nurse if babies refused bottle at bedtime.

As you can see, we have pretty packed days around here! There are definitely variations, depending on family activities and such, but I think we can probably stick to this for the most part. It will probably be helpful to have this in writing to refer to, especially when we're trying to plan activities! The naps are the most variable part of the day, but playtime is pretty flexible, so as long as they actually take two naps and go to bed within a 30 minute window, I think we'll be all right. I'll post next Monday about how this actually worked out for us this week!

Planning to fail

I have a love-hate relationship with planning. That is to say, I love the idea of planning, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only mom who feels that way. I truly admire those who can say with confidence that they know exactly what they will do each day, espousing the virtues of weekly menus and chore charts. I also think they're lying. Well, maybe "lying" isn't exactly the word I want. Exaggerating? Being overly optimistic? The fact is, every time I attempt to make some semblance of a plan, life happens. I'm too busy, too tired, too sick, or I just plain don't feel like following through. And then I feel like a failure, because I made a plan and didn't stick to it. I have to remind myself that if we're all reasonably clean, fed, and alive at the end of the day, things are going okay. Riiight. It's pretty easy to say, but much harder to believe, this idea that simply surviving can be succeeding.

There really isn't anything wrong with planning, per se. The problem is in the execution. It's all very well to make a list of things you want and need to do in a day and figure out when to do them. The problem comes when, at the end of the day, you know you did things that needed to be done, yet the to-do list remains unchecked. Incidentally, these are the nights I dream of being chased by pencils, unending lists of chores with their teeth bared (what? Your dream chore lists don't have teeth? Get with the program!) and the house collapsing under the weight of the undone chores. The laws of physics clearly do not apply in the land of nightmares, because it would obviously be the crawl space collapsing and not the house, but... I digress.

Maybe the answer is to plan to fail. I know, it sounds preposterously dumb, but hear me out. If you anticipate life and its twists and turns, maybe planning works. For example, this might mean picking up a frozen pizza along with all of the from-scratch ingredients at the grocery store, knowing that you won't be able to get dinner on the table every night without it. Maybe it means only washing one load of laundry each day, instead of trying to do five in one day. Maybe it means allowing six hours, as I did today, to get four errands done. The funny thing about planning for failure is that when the inevitable happens, it's not nearly as frustrating. I smell a catchy slogan - "planning to fail takes the fail out of failure!" Yikes. Maybe not. But you get the idea.

After all, we moms plan for failure all the time...if we didn't, there'd be no such thing as diaper bags or bibs. But collectively (with the help of Pinterest) we seem to have fallen short when it comes to allowing for life to intervene on a daily basis. So my goal this week is to plan for failure. Won't you join me? I have a feeling we'll get a lot more done!

I'm linking up with Megan at Positively (Im)perfect for Make it Count Monday!

On being (more) organized...

I've become a little obsessed these days with the idea of organization. By obsessed, I of course mean an unfulfilled longing for something that seems less and less attainable every day. I love the feeling of knowing where everything is, being able to plan ahead and make things work. I am actually pretty good at coming up with ideas for organizing, but somehow I've always had problems making them work. This is usually due to being too tired or distracted to a) get the right things together or b) put in the extra time at first to create a new habit.

Enter the personality test. I've taken them before, and I know that they don't spell the exact parameters of you as a person, but they can offer interesting insight. My personality was defined as ENFP, and one of the descriptors was loving the creative process but balking at actual implementation. Hey....that sounds just like me!

Now that I know where the problem most likely is, I can tackle it better. Truth be told, I'm sure there are tons of disorganized people out there. The Container Store wouldn't be such a success otherwise (or maybe it would? Brain-bender there. Can't think about that right now!) So a sense of inadequacy isn't necessary - just a sense of how much the effort to get things together pays off over time. Motivation, if you will.

Example? Refilling the diaper bag before we're trying to walk out the door (hey, I guess it beats leaving the diaper bag at home altogether, right?) It doesn't seem like a big thing, but it's a habit to cultivate. The first stop when you get home is the changing table anyway, and it only takes a few extra seconds to drop a handful of diapers into the bag and take out any dirty clothes, bibs, or burp cloths and replace them. Then voila, you're ready the next time. Organization isn't necessarily extra work, it just means doing the necessary work in a more logical order. That last line might be the greatest lightbulb moment ever.

So now I'm curious. How do you go about making great ideas work for you? How do you get started? What's the best thing you've ever done to get organized? Share below in the comments!

A little about our family

How we met
My husband Dan and I met in high school in our church's youth group, in 2004. We found we had a lot in common: we both liked running, sports, time at the coast, going for walks, and while Dan didn't share my love of cooking, he did like to eat. Dan's learning to cook now, and I've learned to watch football (I even took a couple classes on it!) We started dating partway through the school year and continued through college, even though we went to different schools directly out of high school. After our freshman year of college, we both attended University of Oregon, and in July 2007, we got engaged. We were married one year later, on July 12, 2008.

Posing with our cake before we cut it.

Our new life together
We are both from Eugene, so we knew we wanted to start our new life together here. Luckily, we both had good jobs and found a nice starter apartment within a few weeks of graduation. Since we got married about a month later, this meant a lot of changes in just a few short weeks!
The first couple of years we were married, we focused on spending as much time together as possible. We knew we would be postponing starting a family for those years, since I was having my teeth straightened and couldn't finish the treatment without a number of X-rays and a possible surgery (not recommended during pregnancy). That's a whole story in and of itself, but suffice it to say I am thankful every day for my improved bite and my fantastic post-braces smile!
Since both of us tend to work long hours and our schedules didn't always overlap, we tried to plan little getaways to the coast or to visit friends in Portland or Seattle. The highlight of these trips was a ten-day road trip in 2010, where we drove down the Oregon and California coasts to Carmel, California, and then headed up to San Francisco for a few days before driving home.

Sure, you can pose with a streetcar in San Francisco- you just have to be at the baseball stadium!

This past summer, we did take one trip up to Seattle in early June, but we spent the majority of the summer focusing on something else: making our living space work for us instead of merely adapting to whatever space we were presented with after a move. We have moved a few times since we got married, once to get closer to Dan's work so we could keep living with one car, and once last summer to improve our living space. Look for an upcoming post detailing why we made this move and how it changed our lives for the better. Most recently, we were able to move into a two-bedroom apartment so we would have an extra room for our nursery - in case you haven't heard, we're expecting twin girls in June!

Me, 30 weeks pregnant

Getting ready for life as four
Over the past weeks, while I've been on bed rest to help prolong my pregnancy, my husband and our parents have been working hard to get the nursery ready for our girls. I am allowed up for small chunks of time during the day, so I've seen the progress and had input on many of the aspects so far. It's been a blessing knowing that we are opening our life together as two for the two little girls squirming inside me right now. The nursery is certainly the most tangible evidence of this, although the feeling has been there the whole time.
What about God's plan?
Though I've already written about the moment when we found out we were having twins, and plan to write more about my pregnancy, I haven't touched much on how much of a wake-up call this was for me. I was raised Catholic, as was my husband, and we continue to practice our faith. While we were dating and engaged, as well as in our early years of marriage, we'd discussed how many children we thought we'd have. I grew up with just one brother, while my husband has two younger siblings. Obviously, our experiences shaped our beliefs about the perfect family size. As our new family went from fantasy to reality when I got pregnant, I began to wonder anew about how many children we would have. I'd always pictured two, probably because that's what I grew up with. We knew we wanted to be young parents, to share our life with our kids instead of feeling like we had to sit back and watch them have fun. I could picture us playing with two little ones, running with them in the jogging stroller, eating meals together. I can think of so many times in my life where I looked to the future with exactly this type of image. My plan for the future. What about God's plan?
Around that time, someone had told me "the best way to make God laugh is to tell him YOUR plan". This resonated with me for some reason, and I began to feel more comfortable with our upcoming journey as a family, however many of us there might be. It was only about a week later that we went in for our first ultrasound and saw two tiny hearts beating on the screen. Ever since that day, I have had a deep sense of calm in regards to my pregnancy, knowing that this, like everything else, is part of a larger plan for us and for our life.
As a pregnant mama of twins, I get asked pretty frequently if the girls were a "surprise". After 7 months of answering this question, I am very comfortable with my answer: "They were a surprise, and we feel very blessed." Our little blessings, Emily Grace and Erin Maureen, are expected to join us sometime in the next 5 weeks or so. We can hardly wait to meet them, the tiny bundles that have been cradled so safely in my belly for the last 7 1/2 months. Their daddy loves to feel them wiggle, hiccup, and kick, and both of us want nothing more than to cradle them in our arms and let them know how loved they are.