Monday, May 13, 2013

There's only so much you can do

Mother's Day 2013. Clean babies and matching pjs, courtesy of Grandma.
Mother's Day yesterday was a much-needed break. No, we didn't go off to the coast for the day or up to the mountains. We did, however, take a break from yard work and chores, and my in-laws babysat so Dan could take me out to dinner. All in all, it was a pretty great day! We went to breakfast with my parents after Mass, and I even got to lay on the couch for an hour while Dan cleaned up the house and played with the babies.

While I was relaxing on the couch (and feeling guilty about being in a horizontal position before 9 pm), I got to thinking about how we as mothers sometimes expect much more of ourselves than others do. Sure, there's always something that needs doing, and most days the list of chores feels endless. But in reality, what you see on Pinterest or even in a blog post can become the lens through which you view your day. So simply having dinner on the table doesn't feel like an accomplishment, because the meal wasn't worthy of an Instagram shot and you're using paper towels for napkins. I've written before about the dangers of living your life by others' standards, but it's possible to get caught up in this even if you're confident in your parenting choices. Around Christmas time, I saw a meme on Facebook that said something like: "All those other moms are posting pics of their decorations and baking reindeer shaped treats, and I'm all like, 'hey, I took a shower and kept the kids alive.'" The truth is, in the moments of exhaustion after a chaotic day, the latter two seem like a much bigger accomplishment! But I know when I read a blog post the next morning about a DIY project or a wonderful, healthy, home-cooked meal, I start to feel unworthy.

What's worth remembering in all this is that while one mom might cook fabulous meals, another bakes from scratch every week, another's house is worthy of a magazine spread, and another sews her own clothes, they aren't doing it all. You don't have to either. Raising and nurturing children is a job all in itself. I think we - at least I - tend to amalgamate these various moms in our heads and feel as though we're being evaluated constantly by a hovering Supermom who can do it all better than we can. I mean, think about it. If there really was a Supermom, she would be swooping down to sweltering parking lots, rescuing the mom who finds herself suddenly out of diapers mid-change, and soothing inconsolable babies at 3 am so the exhausted mom and the exhausted baby can get some sleep. She'd hardly have time to be judgmental!

So if there's something you find great enjoyment in doing, like sewing or cooking or organizing, by all means do it, and do it well. But don't hold yourself to an unattainable standard. Remember, there's only so much you can do. Give yourself a pat on the back when you check something off your list, and don't   lose any sleep -  or sanity -  thinking about how much better someone else does it.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

What I Wore Sunday: Mother's Day Edition




The outfit:
Cardigan: Target (a few years ago)
Cap sleeve sweater: Banana Republic (thrifted)
Skirt: Gap (thrifted)
Sandals: on sale at Target yesterday!
Necklace: gift 
Earrings: gift from my husband a few years ago

I'm wearing my glasses because the pollen is in high gear here, my friends. I have been so sniffly and puffy this week, I decided to give my eyes a break from contacts this morning. I guess that's what we get for the last few weeks of gorgeous weather! 

This is my first official Mother's Day. We celebrated last year, when I was enormously pregnant (see below) and still not allowed to go out, but I feel like it's a real holiday this year.
This is from around Mother's Day last year - same sweater!
We got to go to brunch with my parents after Mass, which went better than I expected although we forgot to bring Emily and Erin's baby food with us. They were limited to goldfish crackers and tastes of banana muffin - I think they were unimpressed. Or maybe just not as hungry as I expected. They behaved pretty well, though. Their Mass behavior this morning gets a B from me, since both girls were fussy and we ended up pacing around a lot, trying to calm them down. It's to be expected from babies, I  suppose, but they are getting harder to calm as they get closer to being toddlers.

Ironically, the homily today was about sacrifice - both that of Christ on the cross and the sacrifices inherent in raising children. I suppose one of those would be teaching little ones to behave during Mass and keeping them calm. I don't know that I feel as though it's a sacrifice as much as doing the right thing, but I guess as compared to the alternatives it would be. For the most part, we've been pretty lucky with our girls, as long as we go to a Mass with some background noise from other kiddos!

I hope all you moms and moms-to-be out there are enjoying your Mother's Day!

I'm linking up with Fine Linen and Purple for What I Wore Sunday! Head on over to see more Sunday attire!





Monday, May 6, 2013

What I Wore Sunday: Flowered Skirt

I realized this morning that Emily and Erin will be 1 year old just 6 weeks from today - where did this year go?! It's incredible to watch these girls grow up. I've said it before, but I'm so blessed to be their mama.

In front of our new flower bed 


Outfit deets:
Skirt: American Eagle via St. Vinnie's
Top: Merona from Target
Necklace: gift from my mom
Wedges: Target

The convoy of priests and brothers who headed down for Mass this morning was slightly delayed by a flat tire, which meant we had plenty of time to try and get both babies sleeping beforehand. Emily fell asleep right away, but Erin was awake for almost all of Mass, talking and fussing the whole time. Dan had to sit outside with her, but I could still hear her (and I'm sure everyone else could too!). I suppose there's really no reason to worry about it, since she's too young to be expected to be quiet. It's only hard when we know she's tired and would go to sleep, but she won't because we're at church. Everyone had a lot of fun visiting with Emily and Erin afterwards, though.

I'm linking up with Mandi this week for What I Wore Sunday! Head on over for more Sunday-best!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

7 Quick Takes, Vol. 39: Sunshine, sunshine, and baby personalities



Thanks to Jen for hosting!

--- 1 ---
The weather here has been really nice this week - especially for the end of April/early May in Oregon. It's been 70 degrees for the last three days, and it was even warmer last weekend. The only cooler, rainy day was Monday, and it still felt like spring. We spent most of Monday running errands and going to appointments anyway, so it didn't really matter what the weather was like outside.
--- 2 ---
It's supposed to be even warmer this weekend, getting into the mid-80s by Sunday (you have to realize how strange that is for this time of year!) and that's gotten me dreaming about time in the backyard with my babies. Of course, then reality hits. Having worked in a garden center in the past, I know all about the hidden dangers of the backyard (despite the fact that we've never had one before) and I'm petrified to actually go out and start playing. I feel like we need to cover the whole yard with a giant blanket. Then I laugh at the absurdity of being afraid of the ground. I mean, really. What have kids been doing for centuries? You know, those old pioneer pack n' plays. It probably doesn't help that I put Emily down in the grass for exactly fifty-one seconds the other day and she fussed at me the whole time, lifting her hands up one at a time like she was balancing on a cactus. So maybe this whole fear of grass thing is instinctive. I'm sure Erin wouldn't be afraid, but her lack of fear is another kettle of fish entirely.
--- 3 ---
I've said before that Emily and Erin have entirely different personalities, but it's starting to become clear exactly what those personalities might be. They take turns being "drama queen" - each really likes to get her way. Erin will literally have a tantrum if she doesn't get what she wants, complete with flop to the floor, kicking and sobbing. If you're holding her, she will flail backwards and burst into tears. Needless to say, we try not to upset her. The best way to accomplish this is not to let her have forbidden things in the first place. This sounds simple enough, but the mere sight of my keys and phone is enough to provoke a meltdown. (Side note: someone should make a realistic looking set of baby keys with a little car remote. I would buy them.) The rest of the time, Erin is vivacious and outgoing. She loves to get anyone's attention by smiling and shouting joyously. She also learned to bark a few weeks ago, and she'll happily bark for you - most of the time. She will eat just about anything. And I mean anything. I caught her trying to eat a snail about a month ago. However, if she doubts the sincerity with which you present the food, she will clamp her lips shut and shake her head back and forth in a true display of will.
--- 4 ---
Emily is a little less outgoing than her sister, and if she's going to make friends, she'd prefer to be safe with mommy while doing so. She doesn't really want to be sitting in the shopping cart waving at strangers, like Erin loves to do. Unless we're at Costco, with the double carts, and then she loves sitting next to Erin and grinning toothily. I suppose she would potentially prefer a little more attention, but she knows how to get it - Emily can scream louder than almost any tiny person I've encountered. I don't want to generalize because we're sort of on the cusp of toddlerhood here, but we're talking serious noise. She wants you to know she's unhappy. It doesn't simply end when she gets picked up, either. Erin calms down almost instantly unless she's hurt, but Emily will keep sobbing and sniffling for several minutes. These frightening displays of emotion seem to coincide with waiting a little too long for a nap, meaning that we have at least one a day. I'm not very good at timing naps for two babies. Fortunately, getting in the car sometimes does the trick. Sometimes. Getting in the crib, on the other hand, makes things much worse. Lesson learned the hard way. Trust me on that one. Her cuddles are one of the sweetest things I've ever experienced, though - Emily is a mommy's girl if I ever met one. It's so heartwarming to see her crawling up to sit in my lap.
--- 5 ---
I find dressing my girls to be challenging as they get older. I'm sure there's no baby rulebook that says babies must wear cute little outfits every day, complete with shoes and socks, but I'm fairly certain society frowns upon almost-toddlers leaving the house in footy pajamas every day. Not to mention it's hard on the footy pajama supply to wear them 24 hours a day. See #1, also - it's getting a bit warm to wear fleece in the afternoons. So getting dressed in the morning has become a must. I should mention that, while I love clothes, I'm not big on getting myself dressed in the morning, so I find this task somewhat daunting. For one thing, Emily and Erin don't like having their clothes changed. For another,  they are clamoring for daredevil status by trying to leap off the changing table these days. If they are laying on their back, they try to flip on their tummies. At least baby clothes tend to come in sets so it's easy to find outfits - getting them on the baby is another story. They haven't started objecting to specific pieces of clothing yet, though, so I suppose I should count my blessings!
--- 6 ---
I've concluded this week that I'm not really a morning person. It's one thing if I have to work in the morning - I'll get up and make it happen, even smiling. But it just takes me a while to wake up. I can do things to help this process along, like program the coffee maker the night before, but there's not much else that works. It's a good thing I generally don't have to get up and start the day very early! I have tried setting my alarm to get up earlier, but have yet to succeed. I'll try again tomorrow, though I doubt I'll feel more like getting up, since it's getting pretty late. If any of you out there are morning people, what gets you out of bed? And how to combat the desire for a clean house in the evening? I might be a hopeless evening owl (I'm still usually in bed by around 10:30) but I'm willing to try and change!
--- 7 ---
Our power went out this week, and it was a really eye-opening experience. Dan had gone to a meeting for work, so I was home with the girls and he had the car. We had been playing and doing chores (I'm sure you can guess the breakdown there) and suddenly the background music stopped, the light dimmed, and the ceiling fans slowed. Luckily, I'd just started the washer on cold, so I could make some bottles with the remaining warm water and put the girls down for a nap. I put some more warm water in two more bottles, put them in the sun on the windowsill, made a frantic phone call to the power company, and realized there was nothing on my list of things to do that could be accomplished without electricity. Except weed the garden. So I went out and weeded our front flower bed (really the ground in front of our laurel bush where the mailman insists on walking from our mailbox to the neighbor's) and prepped it for the marigolds I'd bought. I watched several utility trucks drive around our neighborhood before they all congregated behind our house. Apparently whatever happened was quiet, but it only happened about 40 feet from our fence, judging from all the activity. I'd love to say that I learned a lot from this experience and am much more conscious of how much I rely on electricity, but I was mostly just frustrated at my lack of preparedness for the situation. Definitely food for thought, since storms are pretty common here. For now, at least it was sunny enough to leave the house. All's well that ends well, right?
For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

What I Wore Sunday: In which we will go to Mass 1.5 times

Best outfit shot I can do of myself!

Scarf, sweater, and skirt

Skirt and wedges

Closeup of scarf print and earrings
Outfit
Sweater - Old Navy
Skirt - Old Navy
Wedges - Target
Scarf - Target
Earrings - gift from my mom
I may have just revealed my two favorite clothing stores - well, those and American Eagle. 

So as you may have guessed from the title, something's different today. That "something" is my husband running a half marathon this morning. Normally, we go to Mass once on Sunday morning and leave feeling like we couldn't pull that off again for another day at least. But the schedule of the marathon's start had us all up before 6 this morning, and dropping Dan off at 6:35 am a ways off from the starting line so he could warm up a little. I decided on Friday that it would be a good idea to go to 7:30 Mass, since we were all up and ready anyway. I dressed Erin and Emily in cute matching pajamas last night, got myself dressed and ready this morning, and packed my big new mommy bag full of toys to entertain them. We filled the time in between dropping Dan off and Mass with a quick pit stop at Starbucks, where the babies enjoyed a snack and I got some coffee for afterwards.

Unfortunately, the only stroller I had this morning was our big double jogger, which is entirely impractical unless it's being pushed out of our garage for a walk. I opted to try wearing Emily in the Ergo and carrying Erin on my hip, hoping she'd play in the pew next to me. We found the church mostly empty, with the back "for families with small children" pews empty. The empty church meant every baby noise echoed loudly throughout the sanctuary, though, and after a few attempts to keep the noise down, I realized I was fighting a losing battle. Only one of the many toys I had was enticing enough to get their attention, and they both wanted it (more noise) and once Erin started to play with it, she wanted to bark with joy. The harder I tried to keep them quiet, the more upset they got. During one of our sojourns to the corner, I discovered the source of Erin's crankiness: her pajamas were all wet. Realizing that in all my preparedness, I'd left the diapers in the car, I packed everything up and went out to the car. I found the diapers in the car -  and no extra clothes. So we got in the car and went home. We'll go again this afternoon, but this time Dan will be there. Today will be the Sunday we go to Mass 1.5 times. Here's to the one being less exhausting than the half!

I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned in all of this, probably something along the lines of bringing extra clothes and diapers into church and making sure to always have a spare pair of hands when bringing two little ones. I think I'm also going to start making quiet books for the girls, since I'm sure the noise problem is just going to get worse. For the record, had the noise been the only problem, we would have stayed - I don't believe that there's a way to teach little ones to behave without being in church, learning week by week. Obviously, teaching those less than a year old is particularly challenging, but you have to start encouraging good behavior at a young age!

The topic of noisy babies in Mass has been a hot one this week, and I'm sure you've read other posts on the subject. My personal feeling is pretty well summed up by what our priest said a few years back: our church is pro-life (anti-birth control, anti-abortion), so we have to be pro-babies, and that means babies in church. We all start out as babies, and we can't grow or even perpetuate our faith without welcoming little ones. Obviously, a screaming toddler is different than a fussing infant, and even my babbling, barking little ones don't have the right to protest without our attempting to distract them with toys or a bottle. Cry rooms and nursing areas have a purpose, for sure (the cry room was locked this morning) but young families belong at Mass in the church, not behind closed doors where they can't disturb the peace. We owe it to our children to baptize them and raise them in the faith, and taking them to Mass is part of that. That being said, if you have great suggestions for entertaining babies during church (especially on your own!) I'm all ears. Send them my way, please!

I'm linking up with FLAP for What I Wore Sunday - head on over to see more cute church outfits!

Sunday, April 21, 2013

What I Wore Sunday


Please excuse the poor photo - my photographer (aka my husband) is under the weather and only wanted to take one picture. Poor guy. Hopefully he'll start feeling better soon. Since he is so sick, I went to Mass with Erin today and left him at home with Emily. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, since we normally each handle one baby, but it did make me a lot more self-conscious than normal. I was glad to be wearing such a long dress - I've been considering hemming it, but now I'm having second thoughts. You can't really see it in this picture, but the dress has a flower detail on the right and a sash. I actually bought it as a nursing dress (the top is a wrap style), though it didn't get much use as such.

Dress: Mikarose (from Jen Clothing - great source of modest dressy clothes)
Cami: J. Jill (handed down from a friend)
Boots: DSW (Christmas gift from Dan - you may have seen them before!)
Shopping bag on the door behind me: has just been hanging out there for a few days

So this is week 3 of wearing skirts or dresses to Mass, and I've been impressed so far. Like I said last Sunday, I feel like I'm more focused when I'm dressed up. I admire the pictures of 1930s and 1940s America where women always wore dresses, but I'm sure they felt the same about their everyday dresses as I feel about my jeans and tees. I don't think I'm up to wearing skirts or dresses daily - I truly admire anyone who can pull that off! - but I still think that a dose of dressing up as a measure of respect for doing something meaningful is important.

I have started to wonder if I'll run out of things to wear soon, so I've been checking out the sale racks when we go shopping, hoping to run across another skirt to add to the mix. Skirts are really popular this year, but all the ones I've seen are either too short, too casual or too pricey for my taste. I suspect it would be a good sewing project - maybe I'll make myself a skirt.

I hope you all are having a great Sunday! Head on over to FLAP for more Mass attire!

Friday, April 19, 2013

7 Quick Takes, Vol. 38: How do you spell Chechnya?


This week has been horrific. The number of families ripped apart by violence is heart-wrenching, and as I write this, hundreds of police officers and firefighters are putting their lives on the line to try and keep us safe. First responders, doctors, and nurses have been working overtime this week to try and mend and comfort the wounded. Let's remember all of them in our prayers.

On a happier note, Jen and her family are all home together again! Let's continue to pray for their good health and peace, along with a speedy recovery for Jen.
Emily and Erin turn 10 months old tonight - that's so very close to a year old. And once again, thank you to Grace for hosting this week!

--- 1 ---
When I was six or seven years old, I walked into the school library and asked how to spell Chechnya. I wanted to know why they were always talking about it on the radio, and I knew by then that the best way to learn about something was to read. The poor librarian (probably a parent volunteer) had no idea how to spell it, and when we looked in the card catalog under "C", we didn't find any listings. I went home wondering why something could be so interesting to all the grownups but not exist at all as far as the library was concerned.
--- 2 ---
Fast forward twenty years, and Chechnya is one of the top trending terms on Twitter. Suddenly, everybody's interested. The connection to the tragic bombings in Boston earlier this week makes the tiny Russian province fascinating.  In the age of computer searches and Google, I doubt anyone wanders into a library looking for a mere book about something of interest, which is a shame. On the other hand, a curious first grader today would probably find all sorts of information at their fingertips. Today, everyone can be a journalist. Raw information is published as it happens, without regard to its truth or relevance. The more popular something appears to be, the more relevant it becomes, until it becomes difficult to synthesize the truth.
--- 3 ---
As more violence unfolded in Boston last night, I saw over and over again how disappointed people were with the lack of news coverage. Random people, claiming that they were single-handedly usurping CNN, flooded Twitter with equally random bits of information. Apparently, listening to a garbled police scanner makes you an expert journalist, able to synthesize a complete story from a few overhead bits of information, often speculative information at that. Following the hashtag "#watertown" last night, I saw claims that the news media were going dead overnight, because Twitter was the best source for what was really going on.
--- 4 ---
In full disclosure of my personal bias, I have a degree in journalism, and I feel confident saying that the traditional news media are here to stay. There's a simple reason: a news story is comprised of more than just the facts. You have to fit the pieces of the puzzle together, and judge the credibility of your sources. Up to the minute information is useless if someone doesn't connect the dots and explain how it all fits into the story line. Think about it: if you've ever followed an election or watched any type of sporting event, you know that the final story is often quite different than what went on from beginning to end, or at any point in between. We rely on the knowledge and experience of journalists to tell the story as truthfully as possible. If we begin to rely solely or even partially on a collection of random information from random people, without regard to truth or relevance, we are selling ourselves short.
--- 5 ---
In addition, there are times when it's better not to share what you know for the safety of others. As I watched information spew forth on Twitter last night and early this morning, I wondered how many obsessed with sharing whatever they'd heard were considering the officers who put and are putting their lives on the line to protect the citizens of Boston. Was tweeting the location of the operation really necessary? The foolish shortsightedness of broadcasting police scanner info in such an easily obtainable format really makes me wonder if Twitter kept the police from intercepting both suspects last night. I'm reminded of a saying during World War II, and probably much older than that: "Loose lips sink ships." Sharing up-to-the-minute information about an ongoing police operation means that the suspect in question just needs a smartphone to stay one step ahead of law enforcement, or worse, plot more violence against them. We have unprecedented access to broadcast ourselves - let's prove that we're deserving of the privilege.
--- 6 ---
As a runner, my heart has been particularly heavy this week. Running is a risky sport for a few different reasons: you tend not to have a protected area in which to practice, you are prone to overuse injuries at a particularly high rate, and you are exposed to the weather year round in many cases. If you'd asked me Monday morning what the biggest risk of running the Boston Marathon was, I'd have answered something like dehydration or muscle strain, maybe tripping and falling amidst the crowd. Bombing probably wouldn't have crossed my mind. While it seems possible that running was merely a target for the large crowd of people the race presented, it's particularly difficult to see a sport I love attacked with such extreme violence. My heart aches for those who will never dissociate the terror of Monday afternoon from the joy of running, and especially for those who will never run or watch a race again.
--- 7 ---
I'll leave you with this thought: in the wake of a week like this, perhaps it's best to focus on what we can do instead of how helpless we feel. We can pray, we can hug those we love and tell them that we love them, and we can do our best to be Christ to all with whom we come in contact. Be safe, dear friends.
For more Quick Takes, visit Camp Patton!