To be a grownup

Me as a toddler, with my mom on the beach.

I remember sitting at the dinner table, watching my dad crush a cracker into his soup with one hand. "If only I could do that, just like a grownup!" I thought to myself. I wanted to whistle, to snap my fingers. I wanted to write beautifully and read grownups' books and sign checks. I wanted to cook and use everything in the kitchen by myself. I wanted mail to come with my name on it. I wanted to get married and be a mother.

There were plenty of grownup things I shied away from - I hated answering the phone (I've gotten over that) and I didn't relish the thought of being in the dark by myself. I didn't want to make phone calls either. Nor did I want to navigate the spooky outhouses at the beach on my own, where surely dwelled the most dangerous of...well, whatever lives at the bottom of an outhouse.

Life has changed quite a bit since I formed my grownup aspirations. People don't write letters much anymore, and checks are fast becoming a thing of the past. I never envisioned reading grownup books on a tablet - but I do, and I love it - and I couldn't have imagined a day where cooking would be seen as optional. I learned to whistle and snap my fingers, and while my kids find both very amusing, I don't feel like a big shot every time I do one or the other. I could probably crush a cracker one-handed into my soup - except that I don't like crackers in my soup, as it turns out. Sorry, Shirley Temple.

On the other hand, my husband commented yesterday on my remarkable knack for using everything in the kitchen when I cook. I love being married, and I love being a mother. I like writing checks more than the average twenty-something (hello, Dave Ramsey budgeting!) and I pride myself on my handwriting. I find lots of mail with my name on it.

I suppose, crushed crackers in my soup or not, I've arrived as a grownup.

...I think I like it.

What I Wore Sunday

Sweater: Target clearance rack

Tee: St. Vincent de Paul

Skirt: Target clearance rack

Shoes: Toms 

Glasses: Essential Eyewear (Lenscrafters)

Earrings & necklace: gifted

Mass is getting to be a little more challenging now that Erin is walking. She thinks that she should be running around the whole time, which isn't going to happen. I'm really going to have to get going on something to quietly entertain her. I'm thinking something with buttons, maybe - any suggestions are welcome! We also should have brought her a little snack, since she didn't eat much breakfast and her bottle isn't enough to fill her up anymore. I'm not big on feeding kids to keep them quiet, but I think hunger was one of the culprits this morning. Overall, I'll give Erin a B+ and Emily an A, since she snuggled in the Ergo and fell asleep eventually. 

Linking up with Fine Linen and Purple - head on over for more Mass attire!

Better picture of the outfit - pattern mixing FTW!

Why you shouldn't steal a blogger's laptop

As you may have guessed from the title of this post, I haven't been blogging for a few weeks because my laptop was stolen. This happened while we were all away from the house, thanks be to God, but it still involved a smashed window, blood and broken glass all over our little house, and a sense of security that vanished with one phone call. I'll never forget the panic that gripped me when my husband called me at work and told me I needed to come home, someone had broken into our house. I spent the ride home on the phone with the insurance company while a police officer searched our house. He gravely informed us that this is a frequent occurrence in our city, and reassured us that they'd do what they could to help.

It took a few days for the reality to sink in. The burglar stole my laptop and my jewelry box, which I'd carefully filled with all of my holy cards, a scapular that was given to me by an order of Carmelite nuns during my pregnancy (unfortunately not the most practical thing to wear with small children), various saint medals, a saint bracelet, and nearly three decades' worth of jewelry. My grandmother's engagement ring, the string of pearls my mother gave me to wear for my wedding day - I'll most likely never see them again.

I felt a deep, wrenching sense of loss when I stumbled upon a Buzzfeed article about "things Catholic girls like." As I read through the list and recognized things I, too, loved, I pictured the drawer in my jewelry box where I'd find each of them.

And then I remembered it was gone. Smashed in some Dumpster somewhere, or crushed unceremoniously by the side of the bike path that runs through our neighborhood.

I was overwhelmed by sadness from the first moments I spent inside our house after the police investigated. I found a medicine bottle that had held one or two Percocet, left over from my C-section over a year ago, stained with bloody fingerprints inside my sock drawer. The bottle lay empty, separated from its lid. I pictured the desperation of a thief who would smash double-paned glass, squeeze through an opening too narrow for even my petite frame, and splatter blood from his wounds everywhere as he searched frantically for valuables. I was overcome with pity for this man and his miserable existence. I wished I'd had the chance to offer him food, drink, a pair of clean socks. A part of me wished he could come into his right mind and realize the sentimental value of the things he'd stolen - the pictures we can't replace, the emptiness I feel each time I remember the blank spot on my dresser.

I've tried to pray for this man when I think about the break-in. I pray that another family will never have to go through this, that perhaps he looked at the holy cards and saw the beauty of God's love for all his people. I pray that he will get treatment for the addictions that undoubtedly plague him. I pray that even when we who are so blessed must endure such things, we realize the magnitude of our suffering in comparison with the rest of the world, and act accordingly. Please keep him in your prayers as well.

I did get a new laptop (more on that soon) so I'll be back to blogging more regularly now. I can't wait to share some great posts with you in the upcoming weeks! It's great to be back.

What I Wore Sunday: Throwback outfit!

Outfit:

Top - American Eagle (2008)

Skirt - American Eagle (2004)

Sandals - Target

Earrings and necklace - gifts

I realize the title of this post may be a tad misleading. I've never worn this exact outfit before here on WIWS, but I've owned both of these long enough to make this a throwback outfit. I got the shirt before we got married, after eying it for months on the table at American Eagle. I got the skirt years before that, while I was still in high school. I really didn't think they'd ever fit again. But they do! I'm so excited. I love that there are actually things in my closet that are classic enough to be worn for nearly a decade and still feel stylish. 

I tried something different today, and actually took time to read the readings and a reflection before Mass. I've done it before, but it's been a few months. It helped me refocus quickly once I could actually hear what was being said. Emily was relatively quiet during Mass today, but Erin was not. The heat didn't help our cause -  it's been in the mid-90s here for three days now, after beginning the week with highs in the mid-60s. Poor Emily hit her head on the pew and snuggled up to sleep on my chest in the Ergo after crying and screaming in Dan's arms. Erin fussed and talked and finally found happiness sitting in a grownup chair, looking like she owned the place. I still give her a B, since she could have been much noisier and crankier, and she's only 1. I'll give Emily an A, since she had a valid reason to be screaming at the beginning, and was sleeping until the very end when we left. 

Hope you all have a great Sunday and a wonderful week - try to stay cool! Linking up with Fine Linen and Purple, as always!

7 Quick Takes, Volume 43

Thanks to Jen for hosting!

--- 1 ---

Emily and Erin had their 1 year checkup yesterday! Other than showing up 20 minutes late for their appointment, it went great. For the record, we were late because I made the appointments 3 months ago and I only got a reminder for Emily's appointment - which was second, not first. Oh well. They were very accommodating and saw us anyway. Our girls have really grown this year! They are both 10 inches taller, their heads are about 5 inches bigger, and they have definitely gained weight too. Erin has almost quadrupled her birth weight (6 lbs 2 oz to 22 lbs) and Emily has almost tripled hers (7 lbs 2 oz to 19 lbs 14 oz). It was really humbling to realize how tiny they once were and how God has blessed our little family over the past year. The shots were not too fun - it's so scary to hear your child wail in pain and fear. But it's nothing compared to the diseases they protect against, so it's worth it in the end.

--- 2 ---

My brother and his wife recently moved back to Oregon from Arizona, so we went up to Portland to visit them this week. We planned a trip to IKEA with a quick stop at H&M - two of my favorite in-person stores - as well as a visit to their new house! The trip went pretty smoothly, overall. We timed the driving with normal napping and sleeping times, so the girls were happy in the car. The only time that we drove while they were awake, I squeezed in the back seat between their car seats to keep them company. Did I mention my mom drives a Corolla?

Erin, watching a plane in the IKEA parking lot

Emily, watching a plane while we load up the car

--- 3 ---

I wrote a few weeks ago about how Erin called me "Ah-ma". I really thought she was just trying to say "mama", but apparently she had other ideas. We were playing with her Elmo doll, and suddenly she looked at the doll and said "ah-ma!" Watching their favorite Elmo video on Youtube later in the day, she pointed at the screen and said "ah-ma! ah-ma!". Everywhere she sees Elmo, she can name him. Sometimes she says "mama!" but mostly? "Ah-ma!" I am so proud of how she's aware that Elmo can be in a book, on TV, on my phone, or in her hands - what an amazing little girl!

--- 4 ---

Emily, quite proficient with saying "bye" whenever anyone makes a move towards any door, has also added "yeah" as her response to any question. She's got the inflection idea down, which is impressive. I can't get over how snuggly Miss Emily is - wearing her around in the Ergo will never get old. I love wearing Erin too, but Emily is just a cuddlebug all the way.

--- 5 ---

We had a fun little episode yesterday evening, involving something that had really never crossed my mind until earlier in the week when I read Mandi's post. I was giving Emily and Erin a bath, and they were playing while I sat beside the tub. I looked away for about a minute, and suddenly there was silence. I whipped around just in time to see an ominous smear on Emily's chest. Yep, she'd pooped in the tub. For the second time in two days. Only this time, she'd gotten curious and decided to grab some. Lovely. Much to her delight, I rinsed her mouth with the handheld showerhead, drained the tub, and got everything and everyone cleaned up. We topped it off with a tooth brushing, complete with strawberry banana baby toothpaste, and fervent prayers that my babies would be healthy. I really hope we never repeat that. Lessons learned: don't put all the toys in the tub, and bubble bath can be dangerous camouflage. All you moms know what I mean.

--- 6 ---

Our trip to H&M was really more of a mission, involving some shirts that I just had to have. For reference, I have to wear collared shirts for my job, and most often that means polos in the summer. After eight years, most of my polos have had it. I knew I didn't want more polos, since they tend to shrink and have thick, itchy ribbing around the sleeves. So I polled my friends and got a lead to these shirts. I love them. They are perfect for work - nice and cool, with cooperative collars. I also can wear them outside of work, which I can't say for polos. That's a plus for sure. Here's the first one on its inaugural outing today:

I finally got brave enough to post a makeup-free picture!

--- 7 ---

Last but not least, I shared my thoughts on feminism and why I can't align myself with the mainstream feminist movement over at Fine Linen and Purple today. How do you feel about feminism? Would you call yourself a feminist? I'm really curious to hear what people have to say on this topic!

Showing off a few of my favorite things.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

What I Wore Sunday: Birthday Party Sunday Best

Emily and I. Prior to the cake-smashing. Isn't she adorable?!

On me:

Top: Fred Meyer sale rack

Skirt: Speechless (thrifted)

Shoes: Target

On Emily: 

Dress: thrifted

Sweater: Carter's

Shoes: Okie Dokie

We got together with some friends and family today to celebrate Emily and Erin's birthday. We planned the party for a park near our house, so that we'd have plenty of space to play and eat cupcakes. It was a very enjoyable little party, and the rain even held off until well after we were safely home! My suspicions were confirmed as far as cake - Emily was very offended when I offered her a taste of frosting from the bottom of her "1" candle, and when I handed her the whole cupcake to try, she smashed it on my shirt. Lesson learned. I suppose there are worse things than babies who prefer healthy food, right? 

Mass today was a success in a few ways. All of us were dressed up (even Emily and Erin!) and we managed to find a spot in the parking lot. We also didn't get a flat tire from driving through the leftovers of a car accident all over the street on the way. Emily and Erin were a little fussy, particularly Erin, but we made it the whole way through and didn't have to make an early exit. I did spend a good portion of the Liturgy of the Eucharist in the cry room with Erin, but she wasn't as cranky as she has been in the past. Overall, I'll give Emily an A- (bonus points for politely saying "bye! bye!" to everyone during the Sign of Peace) and Erin a B-, since she never yelled so loudly we actually had to go outside.  

We found a small diaper bag on the clearance rack at Target last week, and I took it to Mass this morning for its inaugural outing. I love our big double diaper bag, but it's too bulky to take everywhere, so I often find myself unprepared if I leave it in the car. Now I can have the best of both: a small bag for carrying around and a larger bag for longer excursions. The trial this morning was very successful, and I felt much better prepared than in weeks past. As a bonus, my outfit from Mass translated well to the party (other than the shoes - I ended up barefoot for most of it). Gotta love comfy dress clothes!

Linking up with Fine Linen and Purple and Camp Patton!

7 Quick Takes, Vol. 42: First Birthday Edition

Thanks for hosting, Jen!

--- 1 ---

Emily and Erin turned one this week! That's definitely the headline - our girls are officially a year old. They are such a blessing in our life, each and every day. We had lots of fun celebrating their birthday with our families last night.

Erin (L) and Emily, waiting for cake.

--- 2 ---

I made their cake myself. I think it turned out pretty cute! I found the circus cake idea in a vintage kids' cookbook years ago, and I finally got to try it out. We had vanilla ice cream with it (thanks Grandma!).

We had cupcakes too, mainly because Emily and Erin aren't quite old enough for a whole piece of cake yet. We wanted each girl to have their own little cake with a candle, so cupcakes seemed like the perfect solution! I made them from the same confetti cake mix as the big cake, but I used smaller, more baby-friendly sprinkles on the frosting. 

--- 3 ---

Erin (top) and Emily, enjoying their cupcakes. 

The girls didn't quite dive into the cake like I expected. Actually, I'm not sure what I expected. They each gave it a good taste - Erin had a few more bites than Emily - but they seemed much more enthusiastic about the graham crackers Grandma offered afterwards. I guess I can't really complain about kiddos who prefer healthy food! Emily definitely enjoyed smearing the frosting around and making a mess with it. It was a very fun evening overall, and we all slept well last night.

--- 4 ---

I came up with a great idea for Dan's homemade Father's Day present (even better than the $5 barbecue grill!), and I even had time to write a DIY blog post on how to make your own Jar of Awesome. If you're looking for a good, budget-friendly anniversary or birthday present, I definitely recommend this!

--- 5 ---

Speaking of budget-friendly, we're really working on the grocery budget. It's hard - food costs money! There really isn't a way around that, either. I mean, there are ways to save money, such as coupons and buying in bulk, but at a certain point, you just can't save much more. I was really relieved to see a document that talked about food costs for families - while I'd love to go to the store and get a lot for a little, maybe there are better things to stress over. We're doing fine according to this!

--- 6 ---

I was over at Fine Linen and Purple this past week, writing about building a postpartum wardrobe (link just in case you missed it!) and sharing my favorite postpartum clothes and outfits. And more love for all the new mamas out there: Katie wrote a fantastic post today about loving her postpartum body for what it does, not how it looks. She's got it right, and it's definitely worth a read!

--- 7 ---

Today is the first official day of summer. It's been cooler and rainy this week - definitely not hot summer weather - but school got out this week and the neighborhood kids have been playing in the park during day, so it really feels like summer. The weather will catch up soon enough.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!